10 Steps to Achieve Your New Self
Updated: Sep 9, 2021
And Transform Into The Person You Believe You Should Be
Sometimes you can do everything you think is right and put your heart and soul into it, but you don’t get the chance to see the fruits of your efforts blossom. Such a natural phenomenon of life, but we fail to see that there are things that are not under our control. While doing so, we also fail to see the things that we DO have control over.
Life is a lesson given over time. No effort ever goes to waste. In fact, that initial effort sets the foundation for your growth to incur. Each step was taken in order to make the next step possible. When something happens in life, good or bad, we fail to understand that it was necessary to take the next step in our journey possible. It’s human nature to see only so far into the past and future. We don’t have the closest idea of a big-picture analysis for why things happen the way they do. It’s always a great reminder that everything happens for a reason; in order for us to become the person we are today, it was necessary my the past to happen exactly how it did.
While sometimes that’s not enough and we let ourselves torture the mind with insults of failure as if we didn’t gain experience from such an exposure. We continue this deep dive until we eventually hit rock bottom. Sometimes rock bottom is what it takes for one to realize they have come really far from the shore they once stood upon. As we embark on our life journey since day one, we are preparing to leave the shore to go far, far away and dwell upon knowledge and seek to nourish it with experiences. Rock bottom may not be the finish line, but it’s definitely a long way from home. It’s just another stop on your journey. Another lesson for you to learn.
Once you acknowledge and accept that you are exactly who you are supposed to be and where you need to be in life, you can truly be able to build upon that foundation to reach the best version of yourself. Often we get this idea in our heads that we want to be like someone else. We change the way we do things to be able to resemble and achieve a “new self”. A “new self”? What is wrong with myself or yourself? Can’t we too continue to work on our foundation with discipline and consistency to embody what someone else may have done to embody as well? Why do we desire a “new self”, when this “self” just needs to be polished and discovered? Is it easier to find a new self just laying out there? Is that new self shinier than yourself? Imagine “self” as an object. Would you abandon your “self” for an unknown “self” not knowing what its journey may have been, not knowing where that journey is meant to go?
Just because it's a shortcut, doesn’t mean it will do you any good in the long run. It’s like trying to build a foundation of a house, but leaving it halfway cause “it's too hard to finish it” and move in with your neighbors, just because it's easier. You already embarked on your journey, leaving it halfway, for shortcuts that leave you hanging, doesn’t sound like a great plan for yourself, does it? It’s always hard to finish what you have started; it might even get tough along the way, but know that the more you continue to work on yourself, you will grow better and stronger. You don’t need a new self, you just need to work on yourself and unlock your potential to discover yourself.
Everyone is looking for a quick easy fix, like some sort of secret shortcut to make it in life. The reality of the situation is not so pretty. There’s no secret formula to succeeding in life, but there are some vital values that are embodied by successful individuals. Let’s dive a little deeper into understanding a piece of key advice that if you understand, you can apply to every situation in your life and be able to find a solution for your journey to discover yourself.
Know your worth, you are so valuable you can’t even imagine. Let’s discover what makes you valuable.
Transformation
1) Do Not Tie Your Heart In Seeking The Pleasure of People
Accept who you are and decide who you want to be, not what people want you to be. You will never find happiness or real success if you always do only to please others. The truth is people don’t know how to achieve real satisfaction. There will always be a group that supports your ideas and a group that does not. Do what is right, instead of doing what whether each group desires. You nearly become a story to tell about or an example to share. Remind yourself you are more than just an amusement for people’s satisfaction and words. You have your own story to tell and in order to lead that start, you have to stop seeking the pleasure of people and start believing in your steps for your journey. We each have a story to tell, but you can choose to be the author of your story, or let someone else tell your story on your behalf, what would you chose?
2) Know & Understand What Your Core Values Are
Core values are more than just what you believe in. It is a representation of what you are willing to stand up for. Saying is much easier than doing. Words are lighter than actions. This is where most people struggle to outline who they really are. They don’t have a good grasp of what they believe in. If you don’t recognize what you believe in, you often fail to understand what side of the line you stand on. You fail to understand what is right from what is wrong. Your journey teaches you lessons of values. There will always be a strong sense of which side you believe in. But it is so easy for one to disregard their own beliefs because others have a different belief even though they may have a different journey than you may have had. A different set of experiences, so a different set of lessons. Your values should define what you represent from what you have experienced, understand, and believe. This will help you work towards becoming a person you recognize and accept. You will learn to trust what you are saying because your actions will coincide with your words. Trust yourself.
3) Control Things In Your Control & Let Things Go That Are Not
Start with your environment and who you surround yourself with. The most powerful influence is “monkey see, monkey do” aka imitation. Don’t just copy what someone else may be doing. Learn and apply lessons from what they did to your own situation. Stop blaming your downfalls and inadequacies based on external forces for your halt. Take control of your tongue, your actions, your mind, and your heart. Control your optimistic choice of words. Control your response and the actions you take. Control your mind by focus your energy on sticking to your values. Control your heart with empowerment.
4) Bear with Patience Whatever Comes Your Way
Patience and perseverance are key to transforming yourself. Lessons are taught over time which comes from experience. In order to learn that lesson, we must learn patience and perseverance. Training oneself to establish the idea that with hardship comes ease. Not before or after, but with. Whatever happens, it happens for a reason. It’s how we respond to what happens, we either gain a lesson and grow from it, or we ponder endlessly on why it happened and miss the point. Whatever happens, it was meant to happen in order to become the person you are today. If you can be patient in your journey, you can reach far places and grow into that person you want to be.
5) Always Remain a Student of Knowledge to Reframe From Falling Into Pride
Knowledge was given to us as a gift to polish and cherish. It was never meant to be enough or complete.
It's an ever-lasting, an ever-growing field that flourishes in all areas of life. The best advice in regards to knowledge comes from remaining a student of knowledge for all of your life. You are always in a stage of growing and learning. There will never be a point that you know everything and anything over another. Nor will there ever be a point that anything you have learned is for no reason. Both sides risk the prideful nature of ignorance and acknowledgment. Every piece of information that you understand serves to improve your knowledge foundation. With that knowledge, we are able to make better judgments and decisions in life.
6) Treat Others Like You Would Like to Be Treated
This key unlocks that most genuine success in anyone’s life if they can understand what it truly means to walk in someone else’s shoes. Lead a life that doesn’t turn away at another individual over ignorance or pride. We are all humans, we all feel just like anyone else does. Treat others like you want to be treated is the gold standard for human life itself. This way of life not only brings out the best in your nature towards others but reminds you to be mindful and conscious of your words and actions.
7) Don’t Fear Obstacles
An obstacle is an opportunity to learn areas of weakness and provide room for improvement. Until one is put into an uncomfortable position, it is hard to get them to find a solution to a problem. Without a problem, there is no reason to rush to a solution. The reality of life is that problems, situations, and obstacles push human nature to learn from them and find a solution. Fear is what often holds people back from moving forward. Accepting reality and facing our challenges builds strong character and motivation to accomplish new goals.
8) Stop Reacting, Start Responding
Our reaction to certain situations puts us in scenarios that we would otherwise not have encountered. If we just stop to listen and then respond, we could find more fruitful outcomes. Our quick reactions often hinder our ability to see the big picture of the scenario and lead to false judgments. Make it a habit to first stop and analyze the situation you encounter. Listen to what is being said to make an informed decision on where you stand. Respond accordingly without ignorance or pride, but with knowledge and understanding.
9) Use Your Time Wisely
Time does not wait for anyone. We all were given a timed clock and when it's over, it's over. We are responsible for how we use the time we are given and what we use it to do. Everyone has a purpose. Wasting time really means you don’t value what your purpose may be and take it for granted. If you are given a limited time only, then not using that time wisely is just another form of ignorance. Your purpose could be as small as just being someone’s daughter or as big as being a leader for your nation. However, no purpose is insignificant in comparison to another. Time could be easily dismissed if you don’t keep track of it. Often if we can grasp an awareness of time, we can reframe from falling into the trap of wasting it ignorantly. Being aware of how much time has passed. Being aware of how much time it will take. Being aware of what time it is. This all begs the question of how do you use your time wisely? Time well spent is the art of planning wisely. Knowing commitments versus desires and being able to manage them both adequately. Finding gaps within those time barriers is where we truly acknowledge the benefits of using our time wisely. Gaps in your schedule are areas for self-improvement and areas to find ways to use time wisely. Without recognizing those free areas between prior commitments and desires, how can you recognize what you can and when you can improve on any other skills. Define your time with planning sessions. Plans are meant to change but never change the goal. Use those gaps in your schedule to work on using your time wisely.
10) Walk with Purpose
The experiences in life that you will go through will shape you into who you will be. Together it defines your purpose. Your existence is not for just one purpose, but your every little action is what the purpose for you to have existed at that moment may be. A purpose can be small or big, but in the end, a purpose means it was necessary. If everyone has a purpose, then everyone in this unique position is necessary. We don’t hold a full picture of past, present, and future, nor do we have the ability to understand the butterfly effect role that we each play in each other lives. Know that we always have a purpose whether we know it right away or not. Always remember, this life may be temporary, but your purpose will last forever.
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